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The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Driver Given Five Demerits for ‘Driving Like a Steinbacher’

September 26, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Reimer was pulled over this week for ‘driving like he doesn’t know what the heck he’s doing’ aka ‘driving like a Steinbacher’. Reimer is a test subject for a new public safety […]

Unger Conviction

Report: 97% of Mennonites Still Refer to ‘Mennonite Church’ as ‘General Conference’

September 25, 2020 Andrew

ELKHART, IN The General Conference, I mean Mennonite Church, would like to clarify something for everyone. The denomination changed it’s name quite a while ago and wishes people would get it right already. “The General […]

Unger Conviction

Dusty Springfield Song Haunts Pastor’s Son His Whole Life

September 24, 2020 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN For Reverend Vogt’s son, Dylan, 31, of Mountain Lake, Minnesota there is one song he just cannot escape, and that is Dusty Springfield’s 1968 smash hit “Son of a Preacher Man.” “That […]

Unger Suspicion

Farmer’s Almanac Predicting Winter to Follow Autumn this Year

September 23, 2020 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN In its boldest seasonal projection yet, the Farmer’s Almanac is predicting that autumn 2020 will be followed swiftly by winter 2020, which will carry over into early 2021 and be followed by […]

Quizzes

Which Character from ‘Once Removed’ are You? A Personality Quiz

September 21, 2020 Andrew

Andrew Unger’s ‘Once Removed’ takes us into the world of Edenfeld, Manitoba, a small Mennonite town bulldozing its way to modernity. In Edenfeld you’ll meet ghostwriter Timothy Heppner and his activist wife Katie Brandt-Heppner, Mayor […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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