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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Consumes 4L of Ice Cream Just for the Pail

July 3, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Braun was so desperate for a fresh used ice cream pail that she downed four litres of Foremost chocolate ice cream in one epic evening. “I was looking at my collection of […]

Unger Suspicion

Maple Leafs to Social Distance from the Cup Again this Year

July 2, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON While the upcoming NHL season may be a bit strange for most of the other teams, it’s business as usual for the Toronto Maple Leafs who have been practicing social distancing from the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Has So Much Extra Rhubarb She Just Doesn’t Know What to Do with it All

July 1, 2020 Andrew

MORRIS, MB Even though it’s early in the season, Mrs. Doerksen has already more rhubarb than she can handle and just doesn’t know what to do with it all, since everyone else in town is […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Tries to Pass Off Blueberry Pie as Saskatoon Pie

June 30, 2020 Andrew

NEUANLAGE, SK Mrs. Krahn is in hot water this week after bringing what clearly was a blueberry pie to the Neuanlage soup and pie fundraiser and labelling it “Saskatoon berry pie.” “Who does she think […]

Unger Conviction

For Some Reason Worship Leader Just Can’t Seem to Worship the Lord Without His $4000 Taylor

June 29, 2020 Andrew

ELKART, IN A local worship leader walked off the stage at church this Sunday after he’d forgotten his Taylor dreadnought and someone offered a “totally inferior” replacement guitar. “Ugh, it’s just not the same with […]

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