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The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Man Plans to Review New Miriam Toews Book Without Even Having Read It

August 29, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Even though he has no intention of reading it, local man and avid Danny Orlis reader Mr. Klippenstein, 71, is absolutely certain he knows all there is to know about Miriam Toews’ new […]

Unger Suspicion

Study: 99% of Anti-Vax “Research” Occurs While Taking a Dump

August 28, 2021 Andrew

FARGO, ND A new study shows that the overwhelming majority of anti-vax research occurs whilst the researcher is doing a number two. “We geolocated all the top anti-vax researchers and found almost all of them […]

Unger Games

Amish Win Gold in Olympic Barn Raising Competition

August 27, 2021 Andrew

TOKYO, JAPAN A team of Schwartzenhersbergertruberschmidts swept the medals at the Barn Raising competition at this year’s Olympic Games. “We placed first, second, and third, though that was mostly because the Mennonites failed the drug […]

Quizzes

Quiz Time: Would you win an election in southern Manitoba?

August 26, 2021 Andrew

With a federal election on the horizon, a lot of prospective candidates are trying to figure out their odds before taking the plunge. Want to run in southern Manitoba? Well, the Daily Bonnet has created […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Finally Finds an IPA that’s Not Too Bitter for Him

August 24, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Garth Penner has been pressured by his buddies to drink something other than light lagers for years and has finally found an “IPA” suited to his tastes. “Got myself a Keith’s,” […]

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