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Unger Suspicion

Abbotsford Woman Mortgages House to Pay for Taylor Swift Tickets

November 5, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC As soon as Taylor Swift announced her upcoming Vancouver shows, area woman Megan Berg was on the phone with the loans department at her local credit union. “The house is worth 2.3 million, […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Digs Up Old Sermon from the 60s to Preach Against New Beatles Song

November 4, 2023 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Rev. Diedrich Bergmann of Rosenort had to search the bowels of his filing cabinet to locate his classic 1965 sermon against listening to rock music and the Beatles in particular. “I heard they […]

Unger Conviction

Presence of Rock Band in Elkhart Sparks Fiery Theological Debate

November 2, 2023 Andrew

ELKHART, IN When word got out that legendary Canadian rock band The Guess Who was playing the small Mennonite town of Elkhart, Indiana this weekend, students at Anabaptist Mennonite Biblical Seminary gathered to debate the […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman Stocks Up on Discount Candy for Next Year

November 1, 2023 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Mrs. Leanne Koop of Swift Current was first in line at her local Shoppers Drug Mart this morning to buy all the rejected candy that wasn’t purchased yesterday. “It looks like it’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family to Dress Up, Eat Candy, and Pretend Not to Celebrate Halloween

October 31, 2023 Andrew

BLUMENSASK, AB The Ungers of Blumensask have been vehemently opposed to Halloween ever since a particularly stirring sermon from Pastor Ron back in the early 90s. This doesn’t stop them, however, from dressing up as […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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