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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Accidentally Puts Up Halloween Decorations for Thanksgiving

October 7, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Lois Unger, 41, of Steinbach was mesmerized by the wide array of seasonal decorations at her local Shoppers Drug Mart this week and plastered her house with her holiday-themed purchases. “Ahhh, I just […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Pastor Pulled After Just 47 Pitches

October 5, 2023 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Despite being less than five minutes into his Sunday morning sermon, Pastor Barry was pulled from the service and replaced with a left-handed pastor. “I can’t figure out why Elder Schneider came to […]

The Daily Bonnet

CBC Claims Harry Dick is a Real Person

October 4, 2023 Andrew

EGANVILLE, ON Without access to Canadian news on social media, many Mennonites are scrambling to keep up with the comings and goings of all the Harry Dicks out there. “For years I thought Harry Dick, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Using ‘Hunky Bill’s Perogie Maker’

October 3, 2023 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Anna Harms, 51, of Grunthal has been caught “cheating” with Hunky Bill. The cheating was of great concern to her husband Darrel, who always assumed her perogies were hand made. “And then I […]

Unger Suspicion

Tories Target Mennonite Voters with Dutch Blitz-Themed Attack Ads

October 2, 2023 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB In an effort to unite the province with an uplifting message of hope, Manitoba Tories have purchased up all the advertising space on the Mennonite satire website The Unger Review, plastering the website […]

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