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The Daily Bonnet

Snow Arrives Just in Time to Ruin Halloween

October 26, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of Mennonites across Manitoba breathed a sigh of relief this week as a massive snowstorm has more or less ruined any chance at at decent Halloween this year. “Oba, my children were […]

Unger Games

Mennonites Excited as NHL Rescinds Ban on Noah’s Ark Tape

October 25, 2023 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON After going back and forth on the issue, the NHL has decided it will allow players to use Noah’s ark tape after all. “Oba jo, finally some biblical tape for us Mennonites,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

We Asked AI to Create Images of the Main Characters from Andrew Unger’s Novel Once Removed

October 24, 2023 Andrew

Andrew Unger’s award-winning novel Once Removed is set in the small Mennonite town of Edenfeld, Manitoba, a place filled with quirky characters. We asked AI to create images of the main characters from the novel. […]

Unger the Influence

Attention-Starved Trudeau Responds by Munching on McDonald’s Apple Pie During Interview

October 23, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After his political rival Pierre Poilievre went viral this week for eating an apple during an interview, Prime Minister Trudeau decided he’d face reporters with something even better – a McDonald’s Baked Apple […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitobans Shocked to Experience an Actual Fall this Year

October 22, 2023 Andrew

BRANDON, MB The province of Manitoba has been in a state of complete shock for the past month as, for some strange reason, winter didn’t follow immediately after summer this year. “Orange leaves, temperate weather? […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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