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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Saves Millions by Pickling the Watermelon Rinds

July 3, 2024 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB The Driedgers of Rosetown have found a lucrative new way to save a bit of money – pickling their watermelon rinds. “With the amount my Stanley eats each years, we could be talking […]

Unger Suspicion

“Skibidi Toilet” Added to Oxford English Dictionary

July 2, 2024 Andrew

OXFORD, UK Intending to represent the diverse and sophisticated vernacular of the present generation, Oxford English Dictionary has added several new words to their pages include rizz, gyatt, mew, and, of course, skibidi toilet. “To […]

Unger Suspicion

Plane to Taxi All the Way from Toronto to Calgary

July 1, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON A routine flight from Toronto to Calgary entered the 401 highway this morning and is now taxiing all the way to Calgary. “We boarded the plane at 1 o’clock and I decided to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Has to Read Every Single Freakin’ Word at the Museum

June 30, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man Mr. Unger decided to torture his children this week by making them go to the museum this week and read every single last sign in the entire place. “We’ve got to […]

Unger the Influence

Justin Trudeau Plans to Stick Around Long Enough to Become the Next Joe Biden

June 29, 2024 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Despite losing a safe seat in Toronto this week, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau plans to stick around for a while, just like his inspiration south of the border Joe Biden. “Look at […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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