ELKHART, IN Millions of Americans have signed a petition to stop Canada from celebrating Thanksgiving early. “This premature thankfulness has got to stop,” said Mr. Frey of Elkhart, Indiana. “I’ve got some cousins up there […]
OTTAWA, ON Politicians across Canada are so heartbroken over the death of Her Majesty that they’ve decided that what they really need is a nice long weekend while everyone else is working. “Ahh, it sure […]
STEINBACH, MB Thousands of confused Steinbachers took to the streets tonight apparently under the impression that maybe, just maybe, Halloween might be on Saturday this year… or on Sunday like the calendar says, but who […]
ST. CATHARINES, ON Days after being forgotten about in a margarine container at the back of the fridge, a plate of Thanksgiving leftovers were resurrected from the dead by local plumber and church elder, Peter […]
ROSENHIMMEL, SK Oncle Thomas was turned away at the biannual Peters Thanksgiving gathering in Rosenhimmel this week after he conveniently “forgot” his proof of vaccination. “Oba, I think I left it at home somewhere,” said […]
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