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holiday

The Daily Bonnet

Top 10 Approved Halloween Costumes for Mennonites

October 30, 2024 Andrew

Of course, here in Steinbach, we don’t celebrate Halloween, but for city folks who are just pretending to be Mennonites, here are a few costume ideas for the big day. It’s always a risk anytime […]

Unger Suspicion

‘May the 3rd Be With You’: Confused Mennonite Man Sends Premature Greeting

May 4, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area man Larry Hiebert, 51, turned more than a few heads this Friday, after he spent the whole day greeting folks with a hearty “May the 3rd be with you.” “He started on […]

The Daily Bonnet

Apple Calendar Forces Mennonite Woman to Celebrate Something Called ‘Tartan Day’

April 6, 2024 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Area woman Erin Loewen, 29, was intrigued this week as she noticed a black dot on today’s date in her iPhone calendar. “Funny, I don’t recall scheduling anything for today,” said Loewen. […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Accidentally Set Off Fireworks 3 Days Early

July 1, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Residents of Sumas, Washington were completely baffled by the huge display of fireworks over the border in Abbotsford, BC this evening. “What are they doing? Practicing?” pondered Mrs. Schmidt of Sumas. “They had […]

Unger Suspicion

Americans Accuse Canada of “Premature Thankfulness”

October 9, 2022 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Millions of Americans have signed a petition to stop Canada from celebrating Thanksgiving early. “This premature thankfulness has got to stop,” said Mr. Frey of Elkhart, Indiana. “I’ve got some cousins up there […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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