Create Your Own Daily Bonnet Headline with the Daily Bonnet Headline Generator

Inspired by the Just Plain Wrong podcast’s “Amish romance novel title generator‘ the Daily Bonnet has created our very own Headline Generator. Simply select your birth month, birth year, last digit of your telephone number, and the age you got baptized and piece the elements together into a headline. For example if you were born in July 1963 with a telephone number ending in 7 and you were baptized at the age of 18, then your Daily Bonnet headline would be:

Altona Pastor Kisses an Old German Hymn Book During Sunday School. Ha ha!

What is your headline?

Your birth month

January – Mennonite Man

February – Mennonite Woman

March – Winkler Man

April – Steinbach Woman

May – Mrs. Reimer

June – Mr. Klippenstein

July – Altona Pastor

August – Abbotsford Oma

September – Kansas Grandfather

October – Mr. Funk

November – Mrs. Pankratz

December – Mennonite Farmer


Your birth year

1950 or earlier – Donates

1951-1960 – Eats

1961-1970 – Kisses

1971-1980 – Falls in Love with

1981-1990 – Destroys

1990-2000 – Marries

2000-present – Spills


Last digit of your phone number

0 – Fifty Jars of Green Beans

1 – Three Empty Margarine Containers

2 – Cousin Harry

3 – the Pastor’s Son

4 – a Set of Knipsbrat Knipsers

5 – Schmaunt Fat

6 – Seven Missing Dutch Blitz Cards

7 – an Old German Hymn Book

8 – Torn Brown Nylons

9 – the Complete Writings of Menno Simons


The age you got baptized

Before age 10 – in the Winkler Church Lobby

Between 10 and 15 – at Friday Night Young Peoples Meeting

Between 16 and 20 – During Sunday School

Age 20 to 30 – After Faspa

30 or above – at the MCC Store

Never baptized – on the Lutheran Church Parking Lot

(photo credit: Gabriele82/CC)
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