Congregation Votes to Continue Serving Raisin Buns at Funerals


Tempers flared at the Mennonite church last night, after rogue elder Gunther W. Thiessen put forward a motion to replace the traditional funeral raisin buns with store-bought dinner rolls.

“Some of us don’t like raisins,” said Thiessen. “Personally, I find them to be more than a nuisance. I’d like to spend the open mic time listening to stories of Mr. Rempel’s five months in the Conscientious Objector camp, but instead I’m too distracted picking out all the raisins from my buns.”

Others in the congregation felt that, despite it’s rather unpalatable texture and taste, the raisin bun was an essential component of the grieving process.

“People expect the raisin buns,” said Mrs. Annie Reimer. “It would upset a lot of funeral-goers if they weren’t there and all of the sudden there was a basket of Pillsbury crescent rolls or something. It would be very shocking.”

After a heated debate among the elders, it was decided that the motion would be put to the congregation, who voted overwhelmingly to retain the raisin bun tradition, despite the fact that most members admitted they found the buns repulsive.

“It’s part of being a Mennonite to passively accept things that are unpleasant,” said Mrs. Reimer, “and raisin buns are just one of them.”

(Photo credit: by First Baptist Nashville /CC)

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