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Unger Games

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Rank Among the World’s Best Spitters

April 4, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mennonite people excel in many fields, not least of which is our unrivalled ability to spit. At a recent competition in Winkler, Mennonite horkers and spitters came out on top in nearly every […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Demand Winnipeg Mayor to Change the City Name to ‘Vanapag’

March 20, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of Mennonites from across the city surrounded Winnipeg City Hall on Friday demanding that Mayor Bowman change the name of the city to Vanapag. “We’re here today to express our desire to […]

Unger Conviction

Wardrobe Malfunction Taints Mennonite Quartet Performance

February 5, 2017 Andrew

OMAHA, NB The Jansen Brothers are world-renowed for their smooth harmonies and beautiful renditions of such classics as ‘Church in the Wildwood’ and ‘I’ll Fly Away.’ However, for the congregation at East Omaha MBEM Church last […]

Unger Games

Sober Curler Discovered in Remote Manitoba Town

February 3, 2017 Andrew

GLADSTONE, MB The ‘Sober Curler’ was long thought to be extinct in Western Canada, but scientists in Manitoba have recently confirmed the existence of one such creature in the small town of Gladstone. “I’ve searched curling […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Creates Crokinole-Curling-Ice Fishing Hybrid

January 28, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Days after the world debut of a crokinole-curling hybrid called ‘Crokicurl’ (yes, this is a real thing), Winkler man Pete Sawatzky decided he could do one better by adding ice fishing to the mix. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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