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Unger Games

Unger Conviction

World’s Coolest Mennonite Pastor Wears Fox Racing Hoodie to Church

August 2, 2022 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB In an effort to bring back the crowds, local Pastor Dan will be sporting a camo Fox Racing hoodie from now until church attendance is back to normal. “I might throw in a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbacher Surpasses 10,000 Career Kjnipsing Yards

July 26, 2022 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Argos running back Andrew Harris was not the only Steinbacher to set a record this week. 92-year-old Herman W. Klippenstein became the first kjnipser to kjnips more than 10,000 career yards after defeating Robert […]

Unger Games

Argos Destroy Patriots 28-5

July 23, 2022 Andrew

BOSTON, MA In a rare cross-border match last night, the CFL’s Toronto Argonauts embarrassed the New England Patriots by a score of 28 to 5. “We were down by three touchdowns in the 7th inning. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Twenty Waved Off After Distinct Kicking Motion

May 29, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB With just minutes left to play in game 5 of the Alberta crokinole finals, it seemed that Calgary’s Blake Kornelsen had flicked the twenty of his life. However, after consultation with the video […]

Unger Games

Every Single Road Named “Worst Road in Manitoba”

May 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The annual list of “worst roads in the province” was released this month, and for the first time ever the list included every single road in the entire province. “Land of 100,000 lakes? […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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