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Unger Games

The Daily Bonnet

Which Mennonite Colleges and Universities Made the ‘Final Four’?

April 7, 2022 Andrew

BLUFFTON, OH Every spring, Mennonite post-secondary institutions gather in Bluffton, Ohio to drink decaf and argue about seemingly trivial differences in theology. The event begins with dozens of school, but eventually the best debaters make […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Sign Top Free Agent Enforcer Will Smith

April 3, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Desperately needing to shore up their physical game if they have any shot at the playoffs, the lowly Winnipeg Jets inked the hottest enforcer currently available – Will Smith. “I’m not sure how […]

Unger Games

Angry Canadian Trucker Mistaken for Soccer Fan

March 30, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON An angry Canadian trucker who had just returned home to southern Manitoba after attending the rally in Ottawa, was mistaken for a diehard soccer fan this week. “Go Canada Go!” shouted local soccer […]

The Daily Bonnet

Nah Yo-dle is Real and its Spectacular!

March 21, 2022 Andrew

Move over Wordle – there’s a new Mennonite game in town. Nah Yo-dle has taken the Mennonite Internet by storm. We stopped by at the EMC Squared Church lobby in Schteinback to get the word […]

Unger Games

National League Adopts ‘Designated Menno’ Rule

March 16, 2022 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA Decades after its junior curcuit counterpart made the change, the National League has finally agreed to adopt the Designated Menno rule. “It’s about damn time,” said diehard Phillies fan Mary Denlinger. “I know […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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