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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

This Toronto-Area Shed Just Sold for $600,000 Over Asking Price

April 27, 2021 Andrew

ETOBICOKE, ON A 64 square foot shed in Mr. Penner’s backyard has just sold for $600,000 over the asking price. “So that’s a total of $600, 500,” said an excited Mr. Penner, who had been […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Protestors Fight Amongst Themselves Over How to Split the Fine

April 26, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a delightful gathering at the Forks this Sunday, 1200 of Winnipeg’s most conscientious citizens found themselves in the quintessential Canadian dilemma: fighting over who was going to foot the bill. “Hey, everybody, […]

Unger Suspicion

Anti-Maskers Mistake The Forks for Steinbach

April 25, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of pro-plague protestors gathered at The Forks in Winnipeg this afternoon under the mistaken impression they were actually in Steinbach. “Ahh, it’s great to be here in Steinbach again,” said pro-plague leader […]

Unger Suspicion

Federal Government Borrows $400 Billion from Industrious Mennonite Farmer

April 25, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON The Canadian government just announced a record-setting deficit of nearly 400 billion dollars for the year 2020, which has people wondering just where they’re going to come up with the money. The answer, […]

Unger Suspicion

Vaccinated 40-Year-Old Suddenly Has Kick-Ass Cell Phone Coverage

April 21, 2021 Andrew

VITA, MB When local farmer Dale Krause signed up to get vaccinated this week, he had no idea of all the added benefits the shot would bring. “Suddenly I’m getting a full four bars even […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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