TOKYO, JAPAN A team of Schwartzenhersbergertruberschmidts swept the medals at the Barn Raising competition at this year’s Olympic Games. “We placed first, second, and third, though that was mostly because the Mennonites failed the drug […]
WINKLER, MB With a federal election on the horizon, southern Manitoban political candidates are clamouring to win over the hearts and minds of the region’s largest identifiable group: anti-vaxxers. “I’ve been knocking on doors for […]
TORONNO, ON A 31-year-old lifelong Toronno resident, Gord Dueck, has been arrested on charges of mispronouncing the city’s name and will appear in court later this week. “We’re a pretty tolerant and inclusive city, but […]
ATLANTA, GA CNN news anchors got down on their hands and knees this week begging President Joe Biden to at least “start another war in North Korea or something” to make up for his exit […]
WASHINGTON, DC After the Taliban retook Afghanistan in a record-setting fifteen minutes, the glorious nation of the United States of America has once again lost another war they shouldn’t have been waging in the first […]
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