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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

US Supreme Court to be Expanded from 9 Members to 535 and Renamed ‘Congress’

May 8, 2022 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC After nearly 250 of years of pretending there were three distinct branches of US government, the United States Supreme Court will be expanded by 526 members and will be renamed Congress. “Who are […]

Unger Suspicion

Band on “Cross-Country” Tour of Canada Really Only Just Playing in Toronto and Montreal

May 7, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Legendary American hard rock band The Guess Why? are embarking on a “cross country” tour which includes stops in more than one Canadian city. “We’re going from coast to coast,” said Guess Why? […]

Unger Suspicion

Sump Pump Awarded Order of Manitoba

May 5, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A sump pump from North Kildonan has been awarded the Order of Manitoba this year for its “meritorious service towards the well-being of the residents of Manitoba.” “It’s quite the honour,” said the […]

Unger Suspicion

Meet Lisa, the One Person in All of Manitoba Who Doesn’t Have Covid Right Now

April 30, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Lisa, a third-year Mennonite Studies student from Winnipeg has recently been discovered as the only person in the entire province who doesn’t have Covid right now. “My cousin Sam has it, all of […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Builds New Confederation Bridge to Compete with the One in PEI

April 26, 2022 Andrew

LORETTE, MB The province of Manitoba has recently declared a gravel service road next to the Trans Canada Highway near Lotette as “Confederation Bridge West” after recent rain storms. “This gravel road surrounded by water […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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