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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Health Data to Be Reported Using Flannelgraph Boards

March 31, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Starting this week, all upcoming health updates in the province will be reported using the most accurate medium the province was willing to supply: an old flannelgraph board hauled out of a church […]

Unger Games

Angry Canadian Trucker Mistaken for Soccer Fan

March 30, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON An angry Canadian trucker who had just returned home to southern Manitoba after attending the rally in Ottawa, was mistaken for a diehard soccer fan this week. “Go Canada Go!” shouted local soccer […]

Unger Suspicion

Shocking! Man in Camo Shorts Not Even in the Military

March 29, 2022 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Area accountant Gord Peters was seen in a local Walmart wearing a pair of camo shorts this weekend. “Waut de hunt! Those don’t look like military-issue cargo shorts to me,” said observer […]

Unger Games

Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two

March 27, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Canadian sports fans were left in absolute ecstasy this afternoon after the Canadian Men’s Soccer Team qualified for the World Cup for the first time in 36 years, thus ballooning the number of […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Rebrands Spring Break as ‘Winter Break Part 2’

March 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In an effort to more accurately reflect the realities of the situation, the Manitoba government has decided to rebrand Spring Break 2022 as ‘Winter Break Part 2.’ Area students were super excited about […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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