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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Beach Boys Record New Hit: “I Wish They All Could Be Chihuahua Girls”

August 27, 2022 Andrew

HAWTHORNE, CA Renowned 60s surf-rock artists The Beach Boys, who will now be going by the name The Beach Benjels, have reunited to record a fresh new hit entitled “Chihuahua Girls.” The Daily Bonnet has […]

Unger Suspicion

In Solidarity with Lisa LaFlamme, Restaurant to Put One Grey Hair in Every Bowl of Chili

August 26, 2022 Andrew

ETOBICOKE, ON In an act of incredible bravery and profound solidarity with recently ousted CTV anchor Lisa LaFlamme, one local restaurant will be replacing the occasional brown or blonde hair in their famous bowls of […]

Unger Games

Andrew Harris Shatters Record for Most Rushing Yards by a Steinbacher

August 21, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON In what is certainly the most impressive feat of his illustrious career, Toronto Argos running back Andrew Harris has just become the first Steinbacher ever to reach 10,000 career rushing yards. “I know […]

Unger Suspicion

Lisa LaFlamme Offered Job at The Daily Bonnet

August 17, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON After being unceremoniously fired this week, former CTV news anchor Lisa LaFlamme has been offered a job hosting a new 11 o’clock Daily Bonnet broadcast which promises, for the very first time, to […]

Unger Suspicion

Typo Turns Book Signing into Impromptu Musical Performance

August 12, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A minor clerical error turned out to be not so minor for author Andrew Unger this weekend, as he was forced to pick up a microphone and belt out classic country songs to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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