HANNA, AB Lead singer of beloved Canadian rockers Nickelback has come out this week and said he’s actually much more of a Mennonite than we ever suspected. “Mench ek saj! You’ve been pronouncing and spelling […]
VANCOUVER, BC Gas stations across Vancouver are going the extra mile this week by providing each paying customer with a complimentary eye-gouging or kick in the groin. “We’re trying to stand out from the crowd […]
TORONTO, ON Toronto school teachers, Pamela and Andrew Doerksen, have just sold a small empty Danforth lot for $990 million and used the money to buy, like, 40% of the Toronto Maple Leafs. “I had […]
MOOSE JAW, SK In a coronation ceremony held in Moose Jaw this afternoon, legendary moustachioed musician Burton Cummings ascended to the Canadian throne. The move means the new $50 bill will now feature a late […]
LONDON, UK It’s the biggest scandal so far of his reign. Yes, indeed. New photographic evidence suggests King Charles III’s fingers bear an uncanny resemblance to Mennonite farmer sausage. “I’m not sure why we didn’t […]
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