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Unger Suspicion

Unger Conviction

Elon Musk Buys Mennonite Church, Appoints Himself Pastor

November 2, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Elon Musk is on a buying spree it seems, as reports out of Fresno, California this week indicate the billionaire has recently purchased the local MB church, fired all the staff, and appointed […]

Unger Suspicion

Rembrandt Painting Has Been Hanging Upside Down for 400 Years

October 30, 2022 Andrew

BERLIN, GERMANY The Gemäldegalerie in Berlin has recently discovered that the famous Rembrandt painting of a Mennonite pastor and his wife has been hanging upside down for the past four centuries. “I’m not sure how this […]

Unger Suspicion

Man with 27% of the Vote Claims He’s Mayor of Winnipeg

October 27, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB For some strange reason, an area man who received just 27% of the vote last night is under the impression that he’s the new mayor of Winnipeg. “I’d like to thank the literally […]

Unger Games

Generous Rider Fans Donate Unwanted Grey Cup Tickets to Local Thrift Store

October 23, 2022 Andrew

REGINA, SK After being eliminated from playoff contention this week, thousands of Saskatchewan Roughrider fans have been donating their unwanted Grey Cup tickets at local MCC thrift stores. “We’re getting in Grey Cup tickets by […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Pastor Barely Outlasts UK Prime Minister Liz Truss

October 22, 2022 Andrew

LONDON, UK The United Kingdom has adopted the tried and true “Mennonite leadership model” of tossing out a leader after just a few weeks in charge. “We’ve been looking at systems across the globe and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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