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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

MBs Rip Up Supply and Confidence Deal with GCs

September 4, 2024 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In a shocking move this afternoon, Mennonite Brethren leader Jack Siemens pulled out of the agreement keeping the GCs as the most powerful Mennonite denomination in Canada. “We didn’t like how they were […]

Unger Suspicion

Calgary’s Big Blue Ring To Undergo $63 Million Upgrade

August 27, 2024 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Just a decade after it first graced the Calgary skyline, the city’s most popular tourist attraction is set to undergo a massive upgrade. “As it is, the Big Blue Ring just couldn’t keep […]

Unger Suspicion

Mastercard Introduces New Dave Ramsey Themed Credit Card

August 21, 2024 Andrew

ANTIOCH, TN Trying to win over legions of Dave Ramsey followers to the supposed benefits of quick and easy credit, Mastercard has just released a new card with Dave Ramsey’s face on it. “It’s part […]

Unger Suspicion

Volkswagen Replaces Key Fob With Giant Red Panic Button

August 18, 2024 Andrew

WOLFSBURG, GERMANY Disappointed that not enough people were accidentally setting off their car alarms, Volkswagen has replaced the entire key fob with one giant red panic button. “Customers were complaining that the placement of the […]

Unger & Thirst

Jennifer Aniston Doused in Schmaunt Fat on Set of ‘The Morning Show’

August 8, 2024 Andrew

LOS ANGELES, CA According to sources, a group of angry Mennonites from Fresno tossed an ice cream pail full of white cream gravy known as “schmaunt fat” on TV star Jennifer Aniston. “It was totally […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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