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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi

October 8, 2025 Andrew

MOOSOMIN, SK Area man Bob Sawatzky took just 5 hours to pass a semi on the highway this week, the fastest time ever recorded by a Mennonite. “I figured he was going 100,” said Bob, […]

Unger Suspicion

Abbotsford Fans Get Shout Out on Title Track of New Taylor Swift Album

October 5, 2025 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC There was a rush to the local MCC this week to get used copies of the latest Taylor Swift album, after it was discovered that Abbotsford fans got a shout out on the […]

Unger Suspicion

67-year-old Mennonite Man Measures 6 7

September 20, 2025 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Area man Earl Klassen is celebrating his birthday this week by consuming 67 pieces of plautz. “How old are you, Earl?” said friend Dave. “Are you 60 …6 or is it 7?” […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Person Has Opinion About Issue

September 11, 2025 Andrew

PLACE Area person has opinion about issue and has expressed that opinion about issue on social media. “I couldn’t let this issue pass without formulating and expressing an opinion about it,” said Area Person. “It’s […]

Unger Suspicion

Encounter with Radiohead Song Sends Swiftie into Existential Crisis

September 7, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A recent encounter with Radiohead’s seminal 1997 track “Let Down” on TikTok  has spiralled Winkler-area Swiftie Melissa Sawatzky into a profound state of existential angst this week. “Never heard such a sad and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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