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Unger Suspicion

The Daily Bonnet

Canadian Tire Introduces New ‘Brooks, Alberta’ Scented Air Fresheners

August 21, 2025 Andrew

BROOKS, AB A new line of air fresheners is taking the nation by storm. They’re called “Brooks, Alberta” fresheners and are offered exclusively at Co-op gas bars and Canadian Tire. “Don’t know what it smells […]

Unger Suspicion

Wife to Warm Feet on Husband Tonight

August 17, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area woman Melissa Ens, 23, fully intends to warm her cold feet on any exposed part of her husband’s body tonight. “This is what he gets for cranking the air conditioning,” says Ens. […]

Unger Suspicion

AOL Ends Dial-Up Internet Mere Days After Mennonite Man Signed Up For It

August 13, 2025 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Area man Bob Unruh was excited to join the Internet age this week only to discover a couple days later that his snazzy new dial-up connection was being cut off. “Oba, America Online? […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Resident Proves His Worth as a Man by Removing Muffler from Car

August 11, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local car enthusiast Sammy Fehr, 29, has successfully demonstrated his manhood this week after removing the muffler from his Honda Civic. “I’ve been single by whole life. I can’t believe I never figured […]

Unger Suspicion

Martyrs Mirror to Add New Chapter on Sean Feucht

August 9, 2025 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC With legions of fans and a net-worth in the millions, worship leader Sean Feucht is clearly among the most persecuted Christians on the planet right now. “Everywhere they go in Canada, they keep […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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