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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Howard Lutnick Successfully Negotiates Massive $20 Billion Distraction From Epstein Island

August 22, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Just as negotiations between Canada and the US seemed like they were coming to a close, US Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick intervened at the last minute to create a massive $20 billion […]

Unger Suspicion

World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days

August 13, 2026 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Mrs. Janzen impressed everyone in Leamington this afternoon after the ice maker on her brand new refrigerator lasted all the way to mid-week. “I’ve never seen such impressive performance,” said Mrs. Janzen. “Normally […]

Unger Suspicion

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026 Andrew

MONTREAL, QUEBEC In an effort to appeal to a younger hipper audience, Canadian clothing retailer Reitmans has recently introduced a new Angine de Poitrine line of polka-dotted blouses and skirts. “I never knew Reitmans was […]

Unger Suspicion

Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’

August 1, 2026 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA The Coen Brothers have just wrapped up filming the sequel to their 1998 cult hit The Big Lebowski. The new film, entitled The Big Sawatzky, which reunites Jeff Bridges with John Goodman, Steve […]

Unger Suspicion

Southern Manitoba Transitions from Agricultural-Based Economy to Wedding Venue-Based Economy

July 25, 2026 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Agriculture has been the backbone of the economy in southern Manitoba for well over a century. Over the past couple years, however, it has been radically transformed to a wedding venue-based economy, as […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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