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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means

September 21, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local retired electrician Timothy Reimer, 88, had quite the busy evening as AC/DC took to the stage at Princess Auto Stadium this weekend. “All these concerned Mennonites were standing outside the stadium with […]

Unger Suspicion

Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour

September 19, 2026 Andrew

FOXBOROUGH, MA Soft pop rock singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran has dropped a Mennonite choir from his North American tour after finding out they were pacifists. “I don’t like to get political,” said Sheeran, “but when I […]

Unger Suspicion

New UN Map Finally Shows Paraguay At Its Actual Size

September 8, 2026 Andrew

ASCUNCION, PARAGUAY Hans Toews of Fernheim Colony, Paraguay was super excited this week after he learned that his country was finally going to be accurately represented on UN maps. “Not only that,” said Toews. “But […]

Unger Suspicion

Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona

September 5, 2026 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Prime Minister Mark Carney and singer songwriter Bryan Adams were spotted wolfing down roll kuchen and rabus at the annual Altona Mennonite church picnic this weekend. “I mean he’s no Justin Trudeau, but […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi

September 3, 2026 Andrew

MOOSOMIN, SK Area man Bob Sawatzky took just 5 hours to pass a semi on the highway this week, the fastest time ever recorded by a Mennonite. “I figured he was going 100,” said Bob, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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