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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Tom Cochrane Will Attempt to Get Mennonites to Sing Along to Rock Songs Tonight

June 17, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Canadian rock icon Tom Cochrane will attempt to defy the laws of nature in Steinbach tonight by getting a crowd of Mennonites to sing along to his songs during his Summer in the […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Construction Crew Lasts Almost 20 Minutes Without a Vulgar Comment

June 16, 2017 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB A local residential construction crew set a new Manitoba record this past week by lasting a full twenty minutes in between obscene, vulgar, or otherwise tasteless remarks. Between 10:03, when Darryl recounted in […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Overwhelmingly Prefer Adam West to Any Other Batman

June 11, 2017 Andrew

ANAHEIM, CA Being sensible and civilized people, Mennonites across North America have expressed an overwhelming preference for the late Adam West’s version of Batman. A recent survey showed that 91% of Mennonites chose Adam West […]

Unger Suspicion

Wonder Woman’s True Identity Revealed as Nice Mennonite Gal from Rosenort

June 1, 2017 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB For years millions of people have puzzled themselves about the true identity of the tiara-wearing woman who rounds up villians with the Lasso of Truth and defends the helpless with the power of her magic bracelets. As it […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Woman Renews Her Vows to Facebook

May 30, 2017 Andrew

VICTORIA, BC Local woman and loyal social media user Alice Loewen, now retired and living on Vancouver Island, has decided to renew her vows to Facebook on their ten year anniversary. “I love Facebook as much […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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