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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Elected President of Ecuador

May 24, 2016 Andrew

QUITO, ECUADOR Local Good Samaritan Mark Reimer will be sworn in as President of Ecuador in a ceremony to take place this July in the small fishing village of Puerto Lopez. “I’m working on my Spanish,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Donald Trump Accuses Obama of Being a ‘Secret Mennonite’

May 23, 2016 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Just days after Donald Trump told Fox News that he planned to build a wall to keep Mennonites out of the country, the Republican Presidential hopeful is now accusing outgoing President Obama of being a “secret […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Still ‘Feeling the Bern’

May 23, 2016 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Mennonite deacon and family man Larry Hiebert, 33, is desperately holding onto any last thread of hope that Bernie Sanders has of winning the Democratic nomination. Hiebert was at the front of the crowd when Sanders […]

Unger Suspicion

Battle Erupts in Winkler Over Prince’s Estate

May 23, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Dozens of Mennonites throughout the Pembina Valley are desperately scouring their ancestry books to find a relation to recently departed musician Prince. “I had never heard of him before, but I just know […]

Unger Suspicion

Donald Trump Proposes Gigantic Wall to Keep Out the Mennonites

May 22, 2016 Andrew

In a recent interview with Fox News, Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump suggested that the best way to solve America’s problems is to build a giant wall to prevent the flow of Mennonites into the country. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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