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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

JK Rowling Releases Mennonite Harry Potter Book ‘Without All the Magic’

July 18, 2017 Andrew

LONDON, UK In an effort to make her books more appealing to a wider audience, best-selling author J.K. Rowling is releasing new edited versions of her popular Harry Potter books that removes all the witchcraft […]

Unger Games

Sporadic Golfer Still Can’t Figure Out Why He Sucks At It

July 9, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local accountant Ed W. Friesen took to the links for the first time this season and soon became frustrated with his lack of prowess. After just two holes, where he scored a 9 and […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Couple Builds 6500 Square Foot ‘Tiny House’

July 3, 2017 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB A local childfree couple has just finished construction on what experts are calling the largest tiny house in the world. Joel and Amber Goerzen plan to move into the eight-million dollar tiny house at […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Church Boycotts ‘Sexy Centennial’ Celebrations

July 1, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB As Canadians gather today to celebrate 150 years of nationhood, members of a small town Mennonite church will not be participating in the festivities. “I don’t know what the heck this ‘sexy-centennial’ […]

Unger Suspicion

Trudeau Insists Kill-Shot is ‘Merely a Flesh Wound’

June 27, 2017 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Days after a Canadian sniper set a world record by killing an Iraqi man from a really frickin’ long distance, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is deflecting accusations that Canada’s involvement in Iraq has moved […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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