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Unger Suspicion

Unger Games

After 20 Years in Calgary, Manitoba Man Still Hasn’t Skied

December 16, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB After moving to Calgary back in 1997, former Manitoba resident Jeremy Berg still has yet to strap on a pair of skies, much to the chagrin of his new Alberta friends. “Frankly, I […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Man Finally Switches from Cassette to CD Just in Time for the Demise of CDs

December 15, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Bennie B. Plett, 67, has finally decided to get rid of all his old gospel tapes and replace them with this new technology he just discovered called the Compact Disc, or […]

Unger Suspicion

What Happens When a Mennonite Replies to an Email Scammer? (This is for Real)

December 6, 2017 Andrew

A while ago I watched a TED Talk by James Veitch, which documents what happened when he replied to a spam email offering him the opportunity for riches beyond compare if only he would provide some […]

Unger Games

IOC Bans Mennonites from 2018 Winter Olympics

December 6, 2017 Andrew

PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA The International Olympic Committee announced on Tuesday that Mennonites “and other Anabaptists” will be banned from competing in the 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Olympics. The IOC believes that schmaunt fat and formavorcht give […]

Unger Suspicion

Conspiracy Nut Launches Rocket to Prove Steinbach is Flat

December 4, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Dwight P. Funk, president of the Flat Steinbach Society, is planning a manned-mission to space in order to “prove once and for all that Steinbach is flat.” So far he has raised more […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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