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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Under New Trudeau Law, All Christian Summer Camps to Be Turned into “Reeducation Camps”

January 19, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In order to address the “unacceptable diversity of opinions on social issues” in Canada, the Trudeau government has recently passed a law requiring all Bible camps to be shut down and re-opened as […]

Quizzes

Quiz: What Do You Know About Quakers?

January 16, 2018 Andrew

Normally, we focus on Mennonites around these parts, but Quakers are close enough…or are they? We’ll find out. What we do know is that they’re so much more than just oats and oil. If you’re […]

Unger & Thirst

Tim Hortons Raises Starting Wage to 15 Timbits an Hour

January 13, 2018 Andrew

OAKVILLE, ON In response to widespread criticism of recent cuts to employee benefits in some of its stores, iconic Canadian donut chain Tim Hortons has graciously decided to raise its starting wage from 12 Timbits […]

Unger Games

Canadian Men’s Hockey Team is Mostly Just Random Dudes from Your Church Floor Hockey League

January 12, 2018 Andrew

BRANDON, MB The Canadian Olympic Men’s hockey team was announced Thursday and it turns out most of the guys are just random dudes from your church floor hockey league. “With the NHL boycotting the Olympics […]

Unger Suspicion

British Columbian Freezes to Death Within Minutes of Arriving in Winnipeg

January 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. Mark Thiessen of Chilliwack froze to death after walking a hundred metres from the airport terminal to his rental car this weekend. Police found his frozen corpse, with his debit card in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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