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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Portage and Main to be Accessed Exclusively by Blizzards and Ice Storms

September 26, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The votes are in and Winnipeg has decided overwhelmingly to restrict access to its most famous intersection to anything other than fierce winds, massive blizzards, devastating ice storms and maybe a tornado or […]

Unger Suspicion

The Truth About Bert and Ernie Finally Revealed!

September 20, 2018 Andrew

SESAME STREET, KS After decades of rumours, the truth about Sesame Street residents Bert and Ernie has finally been revealed! In an exclusive interview with the Daily Bonnet, Ernie admitted what we had all been […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Gamers Excited for Release of “Call of Duty: Morden Warfare”

September 18, 2018 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Video game players across the Pembina Valley have lined up outside local Walmarts and Giant Tigers this week for the release of ‘Call of Duty: Morden Warfare.’ “Jauma, I can’t wait to try […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Quilting Ladies Accidentally Attend Metallica Concert

September 14, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The ladies from the Winkler EMMB Quilting Group were heading into the city on one of their monthly outings. They had intended to attend a panel discussion at the Millennium Library, when a […]

Unger Suspicion

Doug Ford Vows to Downsize Mennonite Elder Boards

September 12, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Ontario Premier Doug Ford says he plans in invoke the “notwithstanding clause” to defend his efforts to reduce the number of elders on local Mennonite church boards. “The elder boards in the Kitchener-Waterloo […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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