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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

HOFer Gary Bettman was Winnipeg Jets Leading Scorer from 1997-2010

November 12, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON American hockey phenom Gary Bettman was recently inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame. Perhaps the most-loved player of his generation, Bettman amassed more points than any other Winnipeg Jets player from 1997 […]

Unger Suspicion

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Hired by Fox News

October 29, 2018 Andrew

ATLANTA, GA Days after being fired from his job on the long-running sitcom The Simpsons, Apu Nahasaspeemapetilton has been hired by Fox News to work as a political pundit. “We only hire cartoon characters around […]

Unger Suspicion

Portage and Main Barricades to be Moved to Main and Brandt

October 24, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It seems that Steinbach has taken a cue from it’s larger neighbour to the north and has decided to barricade Main and Brandt and force pedestrians to cross the intersection through poorly-lit pathways […]

Unger Suspicion

Canada Pays Off Entire Federal Debt One Day After Marijuana Legalization

October 18, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Less than 24 hours after cannabis became legal in Canada, the federal government announced they had made so much money in tax revenue from the sale of legal weed that they were able […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Has Suspenders Confiscated at Quebec Border

October 15, 2018 Andrew

GATINEAU, QC Johan Brubacher hitched up the wagon this week, eager to take his family to Montreal, a city renowned for Mennonite specialties like poutine and craft beer. However, as soon as the buggy crossed […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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