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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Patrik Laine Considers Bringing Back ‘Lucky Mennonite Beard’ After Recent Slump

January 10, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Young Finnish phenom Patrik Laine has been in a slump as of late and hockey experts are pointing to only one possible cause of his scoreless streak – shaving off his Menno beard. […]

Unger Suspicion

Petition Calls for Entire State of Minnesota to Join Canada

January 7, 2019 Andrew

ST. PAUL, MN Already at more than 7,000 signatures, a binding online petition, will see the entire state of Minnesota join its neighbour to the north when it reaches the 10,000 signature threshold. “I’ve always […]

Unger Suspicion

Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2018

December 29, 2018 Andrew

2018 was quite the year for Mennonite film, smashing box office records and garnering praise from both fans and critics alike. Without further ado, here are the top ten Mennonite films of 2018. 10. Crazy […]

Unger Suspicion

New Huawei Phones Capable of Taking ‘Totally Amazing Photos’ of their Own Executive’s Arrest and Extradition!

December 13, 2018 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC Chinese electronics giant Huawei is really proud of the amazing 48 MP capabilities of their Mate 20 Pro, a phone that’s being marketed as “the only smartphone to capture those stunning images of […]

Unger Suspicion

CBC Bans Popular Plautdietsch Christmas Song ‘Frü, Daut es Kold Büte!’

December 12, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Executives at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation have decided to ban the popular Plautdietsch holiday tune ‘Frü, Daut es Kold Büte’, after thousands of Canadians complained they didn’t know what the heck the words […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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