The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

King Solomon to Undergo Wisdom Tooth Surgery

May 13, 2019 Andrew

JERUSALEM, ISRAEL King Solomon of Israel is undergoing wisdom tooth surgery this week after a dentist told him “they’re basically useless and your mouth is too crowded as it is.” Solomon claims he was reluctant […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Woman Dies While On Hold With Phone Company

May 8, 2019 Andrew

PANSY, MB Local woman Mrs. Goerzen passed away this week after a long and courageous battle to change her data package with her service provider. Goerzen was reportedly on hold with the company since early […]

Unger Suspicion

Sad Lonely Canadian Man Still Watching Hockey for Some Reason

May 1, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Darrel Schmidt, 41, of Toronto is still “really into” the NHL playoffs despite the fact that any real reason to follow hockey ended sometime last week. “After the Maple Leafs are out and […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite College Student Faints with Excitement at Hauerwas Lecture

April 29, 2019 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC Thousands of die hard Stanley Hauerwas fans packed BC Place Stadium this week to hear the famed theologian give an hour long public lecture. The crowd was so excited to see the Resident Aliens-author […]

Unger Suspicion

Marie Kondo Inspires Huge Surge of Donations to Local Thrift Store

April 26, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The popularity of tidying guru Marie Kondo has meant a huge surge in donations to thrift stores across Mennonite country. “Do these margarine containers spark joy?” wondered Mrs. Friesen. “Meh, not really. To […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 111 112 113 … 175 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Thousands Line Up for CMU’s Annual Farmer Sausage Blowout
    April 27, 2023
  • Despite Renovations Steinbach Sobeys Will Always Be Penner Foods to Me: A Love Story
    April 10, 2022
  • “Nah, we’re good”: Winnipeg Excluded from Plan to Make Canada the 51st US State
    December 4, 2024
  • Wonder Woman’s True Identity Revealed as Nice Mennonite Gal from Rosenort
    June 1, 2017
  • Breaking News! No Abes Running for Steinbach City Council this Term!
    September 30, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved