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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Blues Albums Seeing a Huge Surge in Sales Right Now

March 30, 2020 Andrew

CHICAGO, IL Things have been so awful the past month or so, that is seems people are turning to music for a little bit of solace. As a result, blues albums have risen to the […]

Unger Games

This Year’s Stanley Cup to be Awarded to NHL’s Most Deserving Fans

March 26, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Since the cancellation of the NHL season is more-or-less a foregone conclusion by now, NHL executives have decided to award the Stanley Cup to the league’s most deserving fanbase, the Winnipeg Jets. “We […]

Unger Games

Local Man So Bored He’d Even Be Willing to Watch Baseball

March 23, 2020 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Like many people these days, local sports fan J.R. Goerzen, 43, is going bonkers without any sports to watch. It’s gotten so bad that Goerzen has been flipping the channels hoping to see […]

Unger Suspicion

Idiot Spring Breakers Force Sharks to Take Matters Into Their Own Hands

March 20, 2020 Andrew

MIAMI, FL After tens of thousands of irresponsible “dude bros” disregarded health officials and decided that the pandemic wasn’t going to stop them from partying and spreading the disease to their elderly relatives, local sharks […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Man Washes Hands to the Entire ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ Album

March 20, 2020 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Burned out rocker Abe Dueck, 61, of Abbotsford has decided to wash his hands eight or nine times a day to all 42 minutes of Pink Floyd’s ‘Dark Side of the Moon’. “Breathe, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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