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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Airline Strives to Make Travel as Uncomfortable as Humanly Possible

June 4, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB West Reserve Airlines has long been a leader in Canadian air travel, with their continual efforts to make air travel as uncomfortable and inconvenient as humanly possible. The airline announced this morning they […]

Unger Suspicion

Harvard Restores Funding After Record-Setting Quilt Auction

May 25, 2025 Andrew

CAMBRIDGE, MA After having its funding dramatically reduced in recent weeks, Harvard University has had to result to a tried and true method of raising money – a Mennonite-style quilt auction. “At this point, we […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Hymn Wins Eurovision Song Contest

May 23, 2025 Andrew

BASEL, SWITZERLAND A seventeenth century German hymn popular with Mennonites has won the 2025 Eurovision song contest. “Normally, we only accept newly-written songs, but we figured this one had enough age on it that we […]

Unger Suspicion

Steinbach Eyes $10 Billion Monorail

May 16, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Looking for a way to speed up transportation from the MCC store downtown to the Walmart out on the highway, Steinbach residents are now seriously considering a new citywide monorail system. “It’ll stop […]

Unger Suspicion

New Trade Deal Has Torontonians Scrambling to Find Manitoba on a Map

May 15, 2025 Andrew

TORONTO, ON A few deal to lift interprovincial trade barriers between Ontario and Manitoba had millions of Torontonians scrambling for their glove compartments to see if they’ve got that old road atlas in there somewhere. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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