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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires

May 4, 2026 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Mr. Todd Driedger of Aylmer is always the last one in all of Aylmer, Ontario to switch over to his summer tires. “I could tell Daisy was ready for a change,” said Driedger, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Cuauhtémoc Selected as 2026 World Cup Host City

April 29, 2026 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, CHIHUAHUA, MEXICO The 2026 World Cup host cities have been announced and surprisingly ever single one of them is located in a place that’ll be real convenient for Mennonite audiences. Among the choices are […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Takes Home Top Prize at Annual ‘Humility Awards’

April 27, 2026 Andrew

WICHITA, KS The competition was fierce at the annual Mennonite Humility Awards this year, but, in the end, Mr. Samuel Janzen, 73, of Wichita was awarded the ‘Most Humble Person in Human History’ trophy. “Woohoo! […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Implements Needle Exchange Program for Knitting-Addicted Grandmas

April 25, 2026 Andrew

BIRD-IN-HAND, PA The small Mennonite town of Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania has become the first community in the nation to introduce a knitting needle exchange program for local grandmas. Starting this January, local knitters will be able […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fans Petition Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to Induct Paraguayan Harpist Eduard Klassen

April 18, 2026 Andrew

STRATFORD, ON Another year has come and gone and once again legendary Paraguayan harpist Eduard Klassen has been left off the list for induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. “It’s outrageous,” said […]

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