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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Buys Over a Million Dollars in Co-op Gas Just to Get a Huge Dividend Cheque

March 20, 2026 Andrew

BLUMENORT, AB Area man Peter Dueck used the equity on his pea farm to buy over a million dollars of fuel at the local Co-op this past year, hoping for a really awesome dividend cheque in spring. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

High Valley Fills Winnipeg Theatre Entirely with Rempels

March 5, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB La Crete, Alberta’s country superstars High Valley are currently travelling across Canada performing exclusively for various Rempels. “Every time I walk out onto the stage and look out into audience, all I see […]

The Daily Bonnet

World War III Finally Gives Mennonites the Chance to be Conscientious Objectors Again

March 4, 2026 Andrew

RIDING MOUNTAIN, MB More than two thousand young Mennonite men showed up at Riding Mountain National Park this week ready to join the World War III Conscientious Objector camp. “We haven’t had the chance to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

March 3, 2026 Andrew

YARROW, BC There was a buzz in the church lobby at South Yarrow MB this week after the province announced there would be permanent daylight savings. “Oba, I expect savings during at an MCC bag […]

The Daily Bonnet

Plane Takes Couple to La Crete, Alberta Instead of Greek Island

February 14, 2026 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB The Wiebes of Winkler were planning for a nice warm beach vacation this winter and wound up in La Crete, Alberta instead. “There are plenty of reasons to visit La Crete,” said […]

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