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The Daily Bonnet

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man to Hold the Exact Same Opinion About Everything for the Next Fifty Years

June 26, 2025 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Area man Garth Martens has reached the age of 31, which means he will now settle all his opinions and judgments of taste and not diverge from these for the rest of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Emerges All Cool and Trendy After Hip Replacement

June 24, 2025 Andrew

MORDEN-WINKLER, MB Area man Timothy Reimer, 69, has emerged from a hip replacement surgery as the hippest man in all of Reinland. “I no longer listen to gospel quartets. From now on it’s all Kendrick […]

The Daily Bonnet

Chatty Mennonite Woman Holds Elevator Door for a Record 5 Hours

June 17, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB There was a lineup stretching down the hallway this afternoon, as Mrs. Enns held the elevator door for “just a couple more minutes.” Well, those minutes soon became hours, as Mrs. Enns had […]

The Daily Bonnet

Forklift Enlisted to Transport New Mennonite Book

June 13, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A brand new volume edited by scholar Rob Zacharias will take its place on library shelves alongside Martyrs Mirror, The Complete Writing of Menno Simons and Royden Loewen’s Blumenort book as the longest […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather in Winnipeg to Decide which Writer to Excommunicate Next

June 12, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB While scholars and writers gather at Canadian Mennonite University this weekend for the 2025 Mennonite/s Writing Conference, another gathering is taking place across the city with an entirely different purpose. “Mennonite writers are […]

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