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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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How to Win at the Mennonite Game: A Comprehensive Guide

September 2, 2016 Andrew

The Mennonite Game is easy to play, but difficult to master. For years Mennonites have been playing the game, but after all this time, no winner has been determined for the simple reason that there […]

The Daily Bonnet

Looming Postal Strike Causes Concern for Mennonites Trying to Communicate With Relatives

August 29, 2016 Andrew

With a Canada Post strike on the horizon, Canadian Mennonites are in a panic trying to figure just how on earth they’re going to communicate with their friends and relatives in distant locales. “I’ve heard some Mennonites have […]

The Daily Bonnet

Morden, Manitoba Has it All! Signs! Fossils! Chicken Chef!

August 25, 2016 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Some local residents are calling Morden, Manitoba the “Las Vegas of the North,” after a brand new sign featuring a giant fossilized fish and large white letters spelling out MORDEN was erected earlier this […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Drives Really Slow ‘To Be a Witness for the Lord’

August 25, 2016 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Traffic was backed up for miles in Saskatoon this past Friday as Matthias Harder, 74, of Dalmeny, decided to go to the city and drive really slow during rush hour. “This is my mission […]

The Daily Bonnet

Facebook Bans Mennonite Ladies from Posting Pictures of Flowers

August 24, 2016 Andrew

MENLO PARK, CA After controversially banning mothers from posting breast feeding pictures, reports indicate that social media giant Facebook is now planning a ban on pictures of flowers. The news has been met with strong […]

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