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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Former Resident Longs to Smell Steinbach Feed Mill One More Time

September 26, 2016 Andrew

PHOENIX, AZ Retired school bus driver Vern L. Toews enjoys his new life in sunny Phoenix, Arizona, but says there are a few things about living in Steinbach that he misses. On the top of […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Mennonite Police Force to Shun Criminals

September 25, 2016 Andrew

FREEDOMVILLE, PA A troubled American city with a history of conflict between police and civilians has decided to try out a new law enforcement and public relations strategy: replace the existing police force with unarmed pacifist […]

The Daily Bonnet

Menno Simons Donates ‘Gently Used’ Items to New Steinbach Hardware Store

September 24, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB 16th century Anabaptist leader Menno Simons made an appearance at a new Steinbach hardware store this week to donate some ‘gently used’ items he no longer had use for. Among the items he […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Golfer Spends Three Hours Looking for Lost Ball

September 22, 2016 Andrew

GIROUX, MB Area man Arnold D. Penner created a three hour delay looking for a lost ball during his afternoon golf match this past Tuesday. Penner, who is an avid golf ball finder, was not […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Grandmother Reacts With Disgust to Granddaughter’s Top

September 17, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mary Esau, 72, of Altona, Manitoba was completely disgusted this past week by her granddaughter’s striped tank-top and skinny jeans. Lindsay Esau, 23, had taken time out of her busy University schedule to drive […]

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