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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Lives the Exact Same Day Over and Over and Over

February 2, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Local man Henry Krahn has woken up each morning for the past thirty-five years, ate a piece of cold left-over formavorscht from the night before, stretched and said ‘oba jo‘ to no […]

The Daily Bonnet

All Abe Friesens Required By Law to Use Middle Initial

January 30, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Abe Friesen the mechanic (no, not Abe Friesen the Associate Pastor at the Main Street Brethren, or Abe Friesen the truck driver from Lowe Farm) is sick and tired of being confused for […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Successfully Traces His Ancestors Back to Adam

January 28, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Local man Elmer P. Dueck, 84, has spent the last forty years of his life meticulously researching his family tree, and has recently become the first Mennonite ever to trace his ancestry all […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Creates Crokinole-Curling-Ice Fishing Hybrid

January 28, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Days after the world debut of a crokinole-curling hybrid called ‘Crokicurl’ (yes, this is a real thing), Winkler man Pete Sawatzky decided he could do one better by adding ice fishing to the mix. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Lingerie Now Available at Aganetha’s Secret

January 23, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Ladies all around the Altona area are really excited about the opening of a new store that specializes in Mennonite lingerie. Started by local woman Mrs. Aganetha Siemens, 63, the new store features undergarments […]

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