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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Dear Martha Reimer (Mennonite Advice Column)

January 16, 2018 Andrew

Dear Martha Reimer, A while ago I went to the doctor to have my bunions checked and when I took off my brown nylons and felt his warm rough manly hands on my bunions, I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Apple Introduces New Siri Voice with Mennonite Accent

January 15, 2018 Andrew

CUPERTINO, CA Recent changes to Apple’s Siri and Maps mean that Mennonites across the Americas will have the chance to receive directions to the nearest Chicken Chef in a comforting Plautdietsch accent. Starting January 15, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dad Spares Rod, Son Not Spoiled

January 9, 2018 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB In a bold experimental parenting move, local Mennonite dad Tim Fehr spoke calmly with his 8-year-old son Nathaniel and explained the situation to him, rather than hauling out the belt. To the shock […]

The Daily Bonnet

Breaking an Arm While Sledding a Hiebert Family Tradition

January 8, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For almost four decades, the Hieberts of Steinbach have made an annual trip to Abe’s Hill to toboggan and break arms together as a family. This year was little Dylan’s first trip to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ten Terms No One Knows the Plautdietsch Word For

January 5, 2018 Andrew

After a year-and-a-half of writing the Daily Bonnet, my knowledge of Mennonite Low German continues to grow. I’ve got Herman Rempel’s dictionary, I’ve consulted various online resources, and I constantly pester my Plautdietsch-speaking friends for […]

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