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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Strip Searched at Airport; Security Shocked at What they Found!

July 10, 2018 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC Mr. Klassen of Yarrow, BC was selected for random screening at the Vancouver Airport this past week. Mr. Klassen had been heading to visit frintschoft in Kansas, when he was pulled aside for […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dozens Injured in Annual Pilgrimage to Mennonite Landing Spot

July 9, 2018 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB More than thirty Mennonite pilgrims were injured this past week as they gathered for the annual pilgrimage to the spot on the Red River where their ancestors first landed in the 1870s. The […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Citizen Krahn’ Voted ‘Greatest Movie of All Time’

July 5, 2018 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Movie experts in the small northern Alberta town of La Crete have overwhelmingly voted Orson Wiebe’s 1941 classic ‘Citizen Krahn’ as the ‘Greatest Film of All Time.’ The film tells the tale […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Release New Version of American National Anthem, ‘The Flower-Spangled Bonnet’

July 4, 2018 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN In order to celebrate the 4th of July, the American Mennonite community has commissioned famed Mennonite songwriter Francis Scott Hostetler to write a new national anthem. “This is one even us Mennonites will […]

The Daily Bonnet

7 Things Mennonites Are Allowed to Waste Money On

June 30, 2018 Andrew

When it comes to spending, Mennonites are a frugal bunch. Despite the fact many Mennonites have done well for themselves economically, they’re not the type to flaunt their wealth. You won’t see a Mennonite driving […]

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