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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Still Writing Her Cheques for 2018

January 13, 2019 Andrew

PLUM COULEE, MB The Plum Coulee Credit Union is just about fed up with Mrs. Friesen’s cheques dated to January 2018. Credit Union staff has warned her on numerous occasions to “get with the times” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Loops Parking Lot for an Hour to Avoid Paying for Parking

January 12, 2019 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Jeremy Goerzen, 39, was picking up his friends at the airport who were visiting from Manitoba. Unfortunately the flight was delayed and so, instead, of paying ten dollars to park, Jeremy […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Novelist Irma Voth Pens New Novel Called ‘Miriam Toews’

January 11, 2019 Andrew

MEXICO CITY Mennonite literature fans are really excited about the release of a new novel by renowned Mexican Mennonite novelist Irma Voth called Miriam Toews. “I can’t wait to read Miriam Toews. I’ve been reading Irma Voth’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Politician Demands $5 Billion Wall Around Morden

January 9, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Church board member and man-about-town Mr. Toews of Winkler is threatening to shut down the local government unless the local senate approves a $5.7 billon wall around the neighbouring town of Morden. “You […]

The Daily Bonnet

Cousin Aggie Caught Flipping Two Cards at a Time Instead of Three

January 6, 2019 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Cousin Aganetha has been barred from ever attending another Sunday afternoon Dutch Blitz match after it was discovered she had been flipping over just two cards at a time from the “Wood Pile” […]

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