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The Daily Bonnet

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The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Sees Surge in ‘West Reserve Alienation’ After Election Results

October 24, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Residents of the former Mennonite West Reserve (or Jantsied as it’s more commonly known) have become increasingly disenchanted with the state of politics at the present day. This feeling of alienation is so […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Accidentally Cancel Out Each Other’s Vote

October 21, 2019 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB The Hieberts stopped by at the polls during their lunch break today intent on doubling the power of their votes by casting their ballots for the same candidate. “Normally we discuss this ahead […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Agrees to Annual Meddachschlop for Her Henry’s Birthday

October 18, 2019 Andrew

CHORTITZ, SK Mrs. Funk, 61, had nearly forgotten about her promise for their annual meddachschlop this afternoon, until her Henry reminded her it was his birthday. “Ah, okay, yes, Henry, is it that time of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba Man Melts into a Puddle of Goo within Seconds of Arriving in Paraguayan Chaco

October 16, 2019 Andrew

FILADELFIA, PARAGUAY Peter Thiessen, 21, has melted into a puddle of goo just moments after getting off the plane in Paraguay. Thiessen was a first time visitor to Paraguay where he intended to see his […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Woman Confuses ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ for ‘The Daily Bonnet’

October 14, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local woman Mrs. Hildebrandt was very excited when she browsed the shelves of her local book store to find a book that was seemingly based on her favourite Mennonite satire website. “There was […]

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