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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Anthropologists Shocked! Russian Mennonites aren’t really Russian and Pennsylvania Dutch aren’t really Dutch

November 7, 2019 Andrew

WELLINGTON, NEW ZEALAND Anthropological researchers from the University of New Zealand have recently made a shocking discovery about two prominent groups of Mennonites, the so-called Russians and the Pennsylvania Dutch. “Neither one of them are […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Daily Bonnet Makes You Famous!

November 2, 2019 Andrew

Hey, so you want to be famous? Well, after the amazing success of our Danny Orlis book giveaway, the Daily Bonnet has decided to have another contest with not much of a prize. Here’s the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Hipsters Forced to Cut Off Beards After Violating Pennsylvania Mennonite Patent

October 29, 2019 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Thousands of hipsters across the United States will be forced to shave off their beards at the end of this month after a Pennsylvania court ruled these beards a “clear violation” of a […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Sexy Mennonite’ Costume Flying Off the Shelves this Halloween

October 28, 2019 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Costumes stores across the country have been running out of stock of this year’s hottest Halloween trend, the Sexy Mennonite. “Last year it was the Sexy Nurse and the Sexy Superhero, but this […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Farmer Caught Combining on a Sunday

October 27, 2019 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB The Wiebes were shocked as they raced to church this morning, to see local farmer Mr. Reimer harvesting the last of his crop in his New Holland TX66. “I’ve heard of rescuing a […]

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