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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

40-Year-Old Mennonite Man Still Called “Junge”

August 13, 2020 Andrew

GRETNA, MB A local real estate attorney, who just turned 40 this week, is still called “junge” by all the elderly Mennonites at his church, likely due to the fact he’s unmarried and keeps his […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Child Doesn’t Recognize Her Own Oma Behind That Mask

August 12, 2020 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Local child, Susie, 8, was really excited for Oma Peters to come over and play Uno with her this afternoon, but couldn’t figure out who on earth this strange woman was at the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mannanites Axcited for New Fast & Furious Movie: Main Street Steinbach Edition!

August 8, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Young Mannanite dads love to shirk their responsibilities at home and drive their Honda Civics and Mazda 3s down Main Street Steinbach all the time yet once. Their ability to maneuver used Japanese […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Bares More than Just Arms at St. Malo

August 7, 2020 Andrew

ST. MALO, MB Mr. Fehr, 62, of Kleefeld decided the family needed a nice afternoon at the beach, so he filled the trunk with zoat and headed off for St. Malo beach. “Oba, but when […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Says Words He’s Never Uttered Before After Scheifele Gets Injured

August 1, 2020 Andrew

KOLA, MB Moments after Winnipeg Jets superstar Mark Scheifele was dragged off the ice with an injury in game one of the play-in series versus the Calgary Flames, the Hiebert family of Kola was treated […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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