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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Renowned Mennonite Writer Honoured to Have His Photo Above the Washrooms at McNally Robinson

July 31, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Of all the honours that Mennonite literary icon Armin Wiebe has received over the years, perhaps the greatest of all is to have his visage hanging over the washrooms at McNally Robinson Booksellers. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Chilliwack Couple Retires to Yarrow

July 30, 2020 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Wanting to enjoy a more temperate climate, Mr. Thiessen, 78, and Mrs. Thiessen, 79 have decided to pack up their things and move two blocks over to Yarrow. “We’ve heard so many good […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Totally Hooked on Bubble Wrap

July 27, 2020 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Mrs. Ens was super excited for all the crap her husband Dan’s been ordering online these days since it means she can spend her evenings sitting with her feet up on the patio […]

The Daily Bonnet

Economical Mennonite Woman’s Been Using the Same Mask Since This Whole Thing Started

July 26, 2020 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Mrs. Thiessen, 73, of Rosenort is renowned throughout the Scratching River Settlement for her tremendous ability to “do more with less.” This includes using the very same cheap disposable face mask her son […]

The Daily Bonnet

Masks Needed to Protect Residents During the Axe Body Spray Outbreak of 2020

July 25, 2020 Andrew

TABER, AB After an outbreak of Axe body spray in shopping malls, schools, and church lobbies over the last few months, residents of Taber, Alberta have been asked to wear protective masks to shield themselves […]

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