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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Generous Mennonite Family Treats Dad to an Order of Mozza Sticks

June 16, 2019 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON The generous Weaver family of Waterloo treated their beloved Dad to a delicious order of Applebee’s mozza sticks and marinara sauce this Sunday. “These mozza sticks represent all that you mean to us, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Mistakes MLCC for MCC

June 11, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local woman Mrs. Froese just moved to town from Jantsied and decided to spend her Saturday afternoon running a few errands. “I asked Mrs. Penner where yet is the Em See See and […]

Unger & Thirst

Poll: What is Your Favourite Flavour of Knackzoat?

June 7, 2019 Andrew

It’s knackzoat season again. Gone are the days when all you had was a plain Papsi and lightly salted zoat. There are so many varieties these days, I’ve got the zoat sweats just thinking about […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sucks Down Fifty Sugar Cubes During Funeral Reception

June 2, 2019 Andrew

REINFELD, MB Mr. Buhler, 71, set a new Mennonite record after consuming more than fifty sugar cubes dipped in coffee at the funeral reception of Mr. Kehler. “You should have seen that man. Sugar cube […]

Unger & Thirst

Dentyne Gum Fails to Mask Aroma of Cigarettes on Mennonite Woman’s Breath

May 21, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Pastor Dave busted more than three dozen members of his youth group this past week after they naively thought a few sticks of Dentyne gum would cover up the smell of their Marlboros. […]

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