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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

‘Soup and Pie Fundraiser’ Raises Millions and Millions of Dollars

February 23, 2020 Andrew

SOUTH BLUMENORT, MB Literally millions of dollars in dimes and quarters were raised at a soup and pie fundraiser in South Blumenort this past week. The unexpected success all seems to be related to Mrs. […]

Unger & Thirst

Even Borscht is No Longer ‘Cheap as Borscht’ After Surge in Cabbage Prices

February 19, 2020 Andrew

YARROW, BC A cabbage spill on the highway in British Columbia this week has resulted in a cabbage shortage and a corresponding surge in prices. This has sent Mennonites across the globe searching for a […]

Unger & Thirst

Calculating the True Cost of Vereniki

February 15, 2020 Andrew

Too often as consumers we are only looking at the sticker price. However, to truly get a sense of the economic, social, and environmental impact of our consumption, we have to factor in all the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Devastated by Meagre Serving of Farmer Sausage

February 8, 2020 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Mr. Krahn of La Crete has very disappointed in the “puny” portion of formavorscht he was given for supper this past Wednesday. “Looks like no more than a ring and a half!” […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Eats All Her Popcorn Before the Movie Even Starts

February 4, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local woman, Mrs. Unrau, 41, arrived early to see Little Women for the fifth time and decided to order a bag of popcorn. Sadly for Mrs. Unrau, however, the popcorn in question was completely […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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