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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Saskatchewan Butcher Claims His Farmer Sausage is Just as Good as Anything they Make in Manitoba

March 13, 2021 Andrew

CHORTITZ, SK Still reeling from the 2019 CFL season, Saskatchewan man Peter Klassen is making bold claims that his farmer sausage is just as good, if not better, than the stuff made in southern Manitoba. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man is Literally ‘Older than Sliced Bread’

March 11, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Sliced bread was introduced to the market in 1928. This makes Mr. Peter Wiebe, 93, of Winkler literally “older than sliced bread.” “Oba, I’m older than sliced bread and my wife Annie is […]

Unger & Thirst

New Study: Farmer Sausage Contains Only “Trace Amounts” of Actual Farmers

March 10, 2021 Andrew

FURTWANGLER, MB A new farmer sausage study from the University of Tubular Meat in Plum Coulee, Manitoba suggests that the vast majority of farmer sausage is actually completely farmerless. “I’m not sure what they’re putting […]

Unger & Thirst

Romantic Gesture Turns into Quite the Quandary for Mennonite Woman

March 8, 2021 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK All Mr. Wiens was trying to do was bring a little romance into the relationship by purchasing a package of Love Hearts for his wife Doris. “Little did I know they contained […]

Unger & Thirst

Mexican Mennonite Woman Invites Friends Over for the Wrong Kind of Disco

March 6, 2021 Andrew

MANITOBA COLONY, MEXICO Mrs. Epp invited her friends over after church this week for what she thought would be a socially-distanced grilling of meat on a giant wok made from an old plow disc, but […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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