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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Potluck Goers Prefer Mrs. Loewen’s Taco Salad to Mrs. Dueck’s

June 20, 2021 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON The evidence was clear: Mrs. Loewen’s taco salad is the taco salad of choice at Leamington EMBMBC church. After a recent potluck, Mrs. Dueck’s taco salad was left half-eaten while Mrs. Loewen’s was […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Stocks Up on Dented Cans and Bruised Bananas

June 14, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local woman Mrs. Epp was filling her cart to the brim with dented cans and bruised bananas this week, hoping that she could get a huge discount when she brought them to the […]

Unger & Thirst

Altona Votes to Adopt Knackzoat as Legal Tender

June 10, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A referendum held in the southern Manitoba town of Altona this week resulted in a 92% vote in favour of adopting knackzoat as legal tender. “Currently we’ve set the exchange rate at one […]

Unger & Thirst

Winkler Pastor Finally Approves Going for Shots in Morden

June 7, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Pastor Dave has finally given the green light for Winklerites to “go have shots in Morden”. First in line was Susan Froese, 35, who had been waiting for this announcement for quite some […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Pitcher Throws No-Hitter While High on Yerba Mate

May 27, 2021 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC It was fifty years ago today that Pieta Ens, rookie phenom for the Montreal Axpos, threw a complete game no-hitter while high on what many believe was yerba mate. “His demeanor was erratic, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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