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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Man Still Sneaking Over to La Broquerie for Booze

April 5, 2024 Andrew

LA BROQUERIE, MB He’s been doing it for decades and just because Steinbach now has a liquor store of its own, and has for several years already, doesn’t mean Mr. Koop will stop sneaking over […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Prays So Long the Food Gets Cold

April 4, 2024 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Mr. Gary Krahn set a new record in Swift Current this weekend by praying a full 2 hours and 15 minutes before the meal this Sunday afternoon. “Oba, he doesn’t need to […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Can’t Figure Out What to Make for Supper Tonight

April 2, 2024 Andrew

LINDEN, AB When Earl Dueck was tasked with cooking supper tonight, he initially thought the planning would be easy. “All I know is it has to be good,” said Dueck. “We are having guests.” But […]

Unger & Thirst

New Steakhouse to Offer Extra Tough and Chewy Steak ‘Just the Way Mennonites Like It’

March 25, 2024 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB A brand new steakhouse in the small Mennonite town of Blumenort is offering patrons a delectable array of the toughest overcooked pieces of beef. “We specialize in old dairy cows,” said restaurant proprietor […]

Unger & Thirst

Authorities Seize Mennonite Woman’s Dangerous Looking Pickle Spears

March 24, 2024 Andrew

GRETNA, MB Avid canner Tina Kroeker was held for questioning at the border this week after the discovery of a large collection of dangerous looking pickle spears. “They asked if I had any weapons,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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