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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Vacant Safeway Store to Become One Massive Tim Hortons

August 8, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Empty since being purchased and shut down by national grocery chain Sobey’s, the old Safeway store in Steinbach is rumoured to be turned into Canada’s largest Tim Hortons restaurant. “There already is a […]

Unger & Thirst

New Steinbach Craft Brewer Forced By Law to Make Root Beer

August 6, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB As increasing numbers of people around the world abandon the flavourless swill produced by the large brewing companies, closet Mennonite drinkers, too, have been embracing smaller locally made craft beer. Steinbach, Manitoba, for […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Enters Rehab with Waffle Addiction

August 1, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Residents are already calling him the ‘Amy Winehouse of Waffles,’ and after an entire weekend where he consumed more than three hundred waffles and fifteen gallons of white sauce, local man Arnold Warkentin […]

Unger & Thirst

Documentary Filmmaker Subsists on Nothing But Faspa For an Entire Month

July 25, 2016 Andrew

HERBERT, SK Filmmaker Morgan Spurlock, famous for eating nothing but McDonalds for an entire month in the film Super Size Me, has taken his stunt-eating to a new level with his recent film Super Faspa […]

Unger & Thirst

Curry Dish Confuses Attendees at Mennonite Potluck

July 11, 2016 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON It was just a regular Sunday after-church potluck for members of Leamington Gospel Mennonite Church. That is, until, Lydia Neufeld, 75, showed up with butter chicken. “I couldn’t figure out what on earth […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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